Fantastic Mr Four!

September 27, 2021 ~ A ~ Leave a comment

It has been a long time between posts! And so much has changed with our small guy, all for the good. He is a loving, kind and funny four year old now. He loves to play with Lego and his toy figures as well as arts and crafts. His pretend play skills have noticeably increased over the summer and he comes up with some really funny scenarios now. Somewhat late to the game he has developed a fondness for Peppa Pig so we build the “piggies” huge mansions to live in out of Lego on a daily basis. They also go about their everyday life in all sorts of vehicles from dump trucks, to fire engines and motorcycles. It’s quite the cross-mix of toys involved!

Last week I bought a really great Playmobil vet clinic toy and it is one of the funniest toys I have bought as it comes with a cat that has a cone of shame to wear. I honestly think I may have bought it just for that! Anyway, he loves it and plays vets with the animals that came with the set and also the piggies. And I love that the vet character is a black woman – he doesn’t get much access to toys with people of colour and so I am happy to add a few in here and normalise seeing people of all colours and shapes represented in his play.

He is also quite fond of playing with Hot Wheels cars and the various playsets of those that we have; any kind of toy that is based on making ice-creams; colouring, painting and crafting (hellooooo glitter!); shops/kitchens/restaurants (he makes a mean cup of pretend tea); and reading Peppa Pig books.

We are one year in our new house now and that has been life changing in many ways. Just having the space both indoors and outdoors makes staying home a preference rather than a forced chore – albeit I think all the lockdowns also taught him how to stay at home happily. We also have a pool and over the summer N has become a competent swimmer. He now happily does running jumps into the pool and can swim a full length of the 10 metre pool with no problem. I mean, he’s not doing a proper Olympic stroke or anything, but I no longer feel stressed about what might happen if he accidentally falls in the pool. He absolutely loves swimming too which makes me so very happy! He has had some lessons and I think with more time and more lessons he will be a strong swimmer.

He has absolutely no interest in riding a bike yet though, which is quite funny. He is extremely capable on his scooter and sees no reason to change as yet so we are not pushing him. He has also demonstrated some good competencies on a skateboard but as he refuses to wear a helmet I won’t let him go about with that yet. We have learned that you cannot force him to do anything as he just needs to decide he’s ready in his own time, which is very similar to his dad!

He is also quite the sensitive soul who seems to need extra love and time when facing anything new or potentially intimidating. As he is a bit of a cheeky monkey who enjoys climbing bars and doing front rolls on the grass, I signed him up for a kiddies gymnastics class with his friend. I took him along and he absolutely refused to participate despite it looking super fun. He was happy to watch his friends for a while but then repeatedly asked to go home and complained that the gym was “smelly” (quite the insult from a 4 year old). So that was the end of gymnastics for now!

We did enjoy a nice holiday in the summer though to a Greek island with a beautiful hotel on a private beach. We ended up going with another family who have a 2 year old boy and the boys enjoyed each other’s company despite the age difference. As it had been so long since anyone had flown anywhere, N had no memory of travelling by plane so it was like the first time for him. He LOVED the plane and the whole holidays experience! Now all his piggies regularly go on holiday in their plane too. He was a super partner-in-crime on the holiday and I think loved the experience as he keeps asking to go on holidays again. Haha!

I am also doing better these days and I think a number of factors are at play for this. Finishing the house made a huuuuuuuuuge difference to our relationship as it took out a major source of stress. But also in recent months and post-lockdown I feel like I’ve had some kind of personal rebirth. Like I feel better for all of the restricted social occasions that previously caused me so much stress (aka family situations where things got very intense and awful). Now that we all live “smaller” lives due to covid it seems to really suit me.

I’ve also started advocating for my own needs. I take the time to do things during the week that make me happy. That is often just regular things that seem obvious such as making sure I can get to the gym 2-3 times a week, or buying a bunch of flowers from the supermarket to brighten up the kitchen, or having an afternoon nap on a Sunday afternoon. By taking back some of the “me time” it makes me a better mum and a better wife – which means everyone else is happier too. But at the same time I try and give my husband his own time without any punishment or directly “owing” me anything for the time he took away. I have been very guilty of that in the past, mainly out of resentment for the perceived freedom that he seemed to have.

N’s language skills have improved exponentially too and he is very strong in English and almost average level in Greek. Given that he is the only truly bilingual child in his year at school, this is a real achievement and is huge progress. I think he is still a little more shy and sensitive because of the lower competency in Greek language than his native-speaking peers, which means he is not the most bold of his peers, but he is very well-loved by them. And I think the fact that his language skills have come on so rapidly now is also why he seems to really enjoy Peppa Pig because he now understands it properly finally! I do think he’s moving on to Paw Patrol soon though so I might end up with some surplus piggies at home soon!

Three and a half: Go boy, go!

February 8, 2021 ~ A ~ 2 Comments

Somehow, it’s been more than two months since my last post. What with Christmas, a fresh Covid lockdown and a more consistently hectic work situation than I would like, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat.

Now small guy N is more than three and a half years old and I can finally say with some authority why people have more than one child. It has taken me three years to work this out, as long-time followers will know that I did not take to the newborn stages too naturally and thus was mystified why anyone would openly choose to go through that torture again. BUT, three-year-olds are hilarious and I have never felt such a deep and burning love for another human being like I do with N.

Each day we play elaborate games that involve role-playing and make-believe. One of his favourite is to have a shop and he “sells” me items – mainly fruit and vegetables – and I have to give him money in return. It’s so funny as he demands the cash and counts it methodically while keying in important information into his cash register. We also set out traffic cones (which were decorations for his birthday but have ended up being one of the most played with toys) and do all sorts of jumping and weaving over and around them. There is painting, dot-to-dot pictures, magnets, Legos, cars…. The list goes on.

He’s also a huge fan of doing the washing up and one day when I was trying to multi-task with work emails, I didn’t concentrate on him for a few minutes and found he had put a lot of liquid hand soap in the kitchen sink and it was like a bubble bath explosion. We had very clean dishes that day!

I am delighted to report that his speech is becoming so much better too. At the end of last year we did a full assessment on his progress with a special needs teacher. I have full respect for this teacher as she has a magical way with children to instantaneously put them at ease. In summary, her analysis was that he has no medical conditions or issues (no autism), is very clever, good at problem solving and just simply needs some more support with developing his language skills to be at the same level as his peers. He is much stronger in English – they don’t call it the “mother tongue” for nothing – and needs extra support with his Greek. We knew all of this anyway, but it was helpful to have it confirmed so we can double-down on the speech therapy.

We also changed speech therapists. My husband was not so happy with the previous therapist and once you’ve lost confidence in providers like this it doesn’t matter how good or not good they are, it’s time for a change. As a result, we are now going to a new therapist, but it’s going well and N has a good time with her. The progress is very noticeable so the investment (and it’s not cheap) is worthwhile.

Now that N has found his words, he is so super sweet, telling me he loves me frequently. He is also polite and always says “please” and “thank you”. He even says “bless you” when you sneeze (while laughing) and “you’re welcome” when you say thank you to him.

He loves his bath and he especially loves me in his bath with him. I’ve been doing this a bit the past few weeks – while wearing a swimsuit – and he just has such a fun time, splashing about with me and playing games. I sometimes get a lot more wet than I want to, but I just think to myself that I’m going to blink and soon he won’t want me anywhere near him, much less his bath! I also wish I had put a drain in the floor of the bathroom because he is an energetic bather with a lot of water overboard.

He loves the new house – we all do – and it has been a huge positive in our lives over the past six months. The timing was good too as we have been under some form of Covid restrictions for a few months now and had a full lockdown with national curfew for the past month. While I’m not advocating for permanent restrictions, I haven’t entirely hated having to stay at home. We have had plenty of things to do around the house and the restrictions over Christmas meant I escaped many of the gatherings that it turns out I don’t really like.

We had a lovely Christmas. Not only was it relaxed, but this was the first year N was really into gifts. Last year he had a terrible ear infection and was miserable, but this year he loved it. We gave him a (huge) Hot Wheels car garage as his main gift and we built it in advance so that when he came down the stairs on Christmas morning it was ready to go. As he descended the stairs and saw it under the tree he couldn’t believe it was for him. He kept asking me “Is it for me?” Once he was convinced it was actually for him, he played with it non-stop for an hour and didn’t touch another present.

We all really miss playdates during this phase though. He often asks for various friends to come and play at home but until next week it is still banned. I’m also looking forward to going out and about to parks and places with animals and nature as I think it’s kind of sad to limit children to these experiences.

Things he loves:

Cars – he has developed an awareness of different models of cars and he even saw a Ferrari parked on the side of the road and commented unprompted “That’s a nice car”.
Slime – many thanks to YouTube for introducing him to slime, which is actually really disgusting.
Magnetic toys – we have a few different magnet-based toys and they are a total hit. He plays with them for ages.
Lego – ditto. For some reason, we usually build a garage for the cars, a car park (like one with a barrier that requires tickets) or a car wash. Notice the theme?
Gumball machines – another big thank you to YouTube, as he has asked us for a gumball machine for over a month now so we bought one online for him. We did not fill it with gumballs due to a choking concern, but instead found giant Nerds candy that worked. He is obsessed with it!
Card games – like Uno or Snap. It’s really funny!
The moon, stars, and space. I have (finally) gotten around to properly decorating his room and have ordered some wall stickers that include a giant mood and stick-on stars. It was only after ordering that I realised all 300+ stars need to be stuck on one-by-one. Looking forward to that!

New home, new adventure, new memories

November 19, 2020 ~ A ~ Leave a comment

What a wild ride the past two months have been. It is no lie that moving house (and building it in the first place) is one of the most stressful things to ever do. In late September, we finally (FINALLY!) moved into our new build house that has been consuming us for almost three years now. I don’t remember a whole lot about the two days of moving – it’s something of a blur a bit like childbirth – but I do remember being achingly, physically exhausted at the end of each day. We had a moving company but there was still a lot for us to do ourselves and I did a lot of heavy lifting. My fitbit nearly exploded with how many steps I did in the week of the move. The first three days I was hitting in excess of 20,000 steps a day. Who needs the gym, eh, when you’re moving house?

But it was worth it.

Moving from an apartment to a house has been a game-changer! I think we have all collectively breathed out with the increased space and in particular, having a back yard. Even though our move was heavily delayed, we were able to enjoy the pool for a few weeks thanks to the great climate here. Next summer is going to be immense I think!

N has been a superstar champion during the move. As we have been visiting the site of the new house regularly he has always understood this was the “new house” and that we would live there. As we started packing the apartment he joined in and so it was not a shock at all to him to move. In fact, when you ask him about the “old house” and if he wants to go there, he says “no, it’s empty”.

I had expected some kind of sleeping issues in the new house, but we bought him a new bed which is 160cm x 200cm, aka adult size, and he loves it. He sleeps really well in it and has done from the first night. I think he really was too big for the toddler bed so we did a good thing with sorting him out a new bed. The advantage of getting a full size bed like that is also that when he is having difficult nights it means one of us (aka me) can sleep with him to comfort him. His bed is super comfortable so I have fallen asleep in it multiple times by accident!!

We have 22 steps between the ground floor (living areas) and the first floor (bedrooms and bathrooms) and I have also noticed since moving that N gets tired more easily and goes to sleep faster. I think just the act of having more distance to cover at home and multiple trips each day up and down those stairs has a lot to do with this. Also, the ability to play outside wears him out.

N himself has been quite the character recently. He is really sweet and tells me he loves me often. One night I told him “I love you to the moon” and he replied “I love you to the stars” and it was just the sweetest thing ever.

During the summer when we were in the pool or at his favourite place in the world, the waterpark, I would say to him “Don’t worry, I’ll save you” in those moments where the water was a little too deep for him and I was holding onto him. (Side note: he does wear arm bands in the pool but there have been some occasions where he prefers that I hold him in the pool without arm bands. He is always fully supervised – arm bands or no arm bans – with a maximum distance of about 30cm from an adult, usually me). Of course there have been a couple of minor accidents where his head has slipped under the water for half a second and I have always lifted him up and told him “Don’t worry, I’ll save you.”

Clearly the phrase “I’ll save you” has stuck with him and now he often turns to me when he wants a nice tight, cuddle and says, “I save you”. It melts my heart. I often think he does save me and it is me who needs the cuddle more than him.

Some of his favourite things at the moment are:

Colouring and painting
Cars – he has a Hot Wheels parking garage coming from Santa if he’s a good boy
Reading letters out loud all the time be that in books, on car number plates and on signs – he knows the English alphabet and can identify each letter which we are quite surprised about because his nursery school only teaches in Greek
Our new kitten – we had the skinniest kitten I’ve ever seen still alive turn up on our doorstep of the new house less than two weeks after moving in and after a lot of TLC and a huge vet bill he is now fine and they are best buddies (the other cats are less fond of him)
Donuts – his grandpa buys him donuts occasionally and he LOVES them and talks about donuts a lot
His best friend from school who shares the same name as him. They are two peas in a pod and super cute together
His new electronic kiddy version of a Vespa scooter. This was a birthday gift from his grandparents and he has steadfastly refused to even sit on it since his birthday (July) until last weekend. We had his girlfriend visiting for a playdate and she asked to ride it (she’s half-Italian so it must come more naturally) – once he saw her ride it he’s not wanted to get off it since
The book series “Press Here” and “Mix it Up” – such nice books so do check them out!

I am definitely enjoying the new house, but there are still many things to sort out and buy. We are now doing things progressively because we don’t have enough cash or time to sort everything out at once. Hubby and I have had a bumpy road over the past few months I think from sheer stress and frustration with the house and work, but we have had some really nice moments in the middle of that too. I think in another few months once we tick a few more things off our to-do list and the Covid-situation may slightly improve, perhaps relations will be improved further.

Since October I have returned to the gym and that has been really good for my mood and overall outlook on life. I really am a better person when I have moved my body. I still think I have some work to do to really resolve some of my low phases, but I am trying each week to spend small amounts of time doing things that make me feel good. It’s so true that you need to be a happy mamma and this is why I am making more of an effort to invest in myself.

Back To School, Back to Routine

September 10, 2020 ~ A ~ 2 Comments

I have a confession, I really like routine. Am I meant to admit that out loud? Sometimes it seems that the cool folks are the ones who are living by the seat of their pants, gleefully ready for each new adventure that the universe throws their way. But really it is routine which is the glue which holds together my sanity. I like to know what to expect and what’s expected of me… maybe I am really a pre-schooler in disguise?

Now I am a summer love and a self-confessed beach bum so I am all for the summer holidays. July and August are wonderful for their barefoot, crunchy-hair, summer vibes. Summer days were never as sweet as during childhood where a long day spent at the beach and sand in all the places led to a great night’s sleep, or when I was part of a young, fresh couple with plenty of time to lie by the beach sipping cocktails, followed by some uninterrupted “alone time”. I laugh out loud to myself when I think of those summer days of years past when I would literally do nothing but lie on a sun lounger at the beach ALL DAY for several days on end.

And I still love summertime, I really do! We had some great times over the summer in pools and on water slides with my little water baby rapidly gaining in confidence. But also I am kind of glad for September to be here. The reality of summer with young kids is lots of activity, routines which have been destroyed and a lot more ice-cream eating than would normally be permissible. I laugh when people ask me did you have a nice summer break? What break? I just changed locations to one where my son is powered with frozen sugar and doesn’t want to go to bed because he’s demanding I wake up the sun.

Which is why I am the official cheerleader of September. This is when children in the northern hemisphere (usually, Covid-allowing) go back to school for a new academic year and when order and routine are restored. I am so happy with N’s school generally, and they have handled the Covid-protocols very well, but I have been even more happy recently as he seems really delighted to go there in the mornings. Much as he liked staying at home during lockdown and during the summer break, I think he really loves the fun things he does at school and his many friends he is making. And I like some time apart for a few hours – albeit at work – so that when I pick him up after school it’s exciting for both of us.

N now has a best buddy at school who, rather confusingly, shares the same first name as he does. They are different in character but have the same interests (construction toys) and great energy together. We went to this friend’s birthday party last week and N was genuinely delighted to be going to celebrate with him, delighting to taking him a gift and even blowing the other boy’s birthday candles out for him! I nearly died of embarrassment, everyone else thought it was cute – note to self to watch out for his candle-assassin tendencies at future parties.

I love seeing his growth and development leaps too, and his language skills are rocketing by the day. He is excellent at identifying letters and numbers and associates individual letters with the names of important people (i.e. the first letter of their name). This is interesting because he learns Greek at nursery school, not English so his development of the English alphabet is from home life. He is now getting very confident in his second language too so I am glad for him as this will be especially important from a social perspective so he can communicate with his peers.

He has been through a rough patch with sleeping the past month or so with waking up in the middle of the night sporadically for no easily explainable reason. The problem with these night wakeups is that he is very difficult to get to go back to sleep so he often keeps us awake for 2-3 hours at a time. This is relatively manageable during holidays but when we have to be at work the next morning it is not great.

I think one or two of these incidents have been when he’s picked up on some tension (hellooooo we are almost finished with our house build = super stressful) or when he has not seen a lot of Daddy in any given day. Other night wakings are completely inexplicable and are written off as one of the mysteries of parenthood. I am focusing on making sure the following days are full of good stimulation, good diet, lots of love and less tension and that seems to help. But we are not perfect and sometimes we just have to get through these moments with as much patience as we can muster.

Diet has been a super-interesting topic during the past month or so too. N is a very physically intense boy who needs stimulation and the ability to stretch his legs each day to really be happy. And for a couple of days over summer he was pretty bad spirited. I really started to wonder WTAF was going on as his behaviour was out of character, but then I had a little think about his diet and it hadn’t been great during that day and the few days before. I then undertook a fairly unscientific experiment and limited his sugar intake for a few days. OH MY GOD it made SUCH a difference. He was a lot more calm, reasonable, able to concentrate and just generally sweet to be around.

It genuinely gave me pause for thought. N has always had a good diet but I have also been quite flexible about my approach to food with him. If we are having guests or are out somewhere of course he can have cake or ice-cream. But during summer days the rules seem to get relaxed and he was eating a lot more sugary foods than normal… and I saw the results which were not pretty. By pulling back on the sugar it really helped him. He still tries to challenge me, especially when he is tired or hungry, but his moods are more consistent and reasonable when he eats better. It just goes to show that you are what you eat after all!

Three is the magic number!

August 13, 2020August 13, 2020 ~ A ~ 4 Comments

My boy is three! Just like that and three years have passed by. There is so much truth in the saying that the nights are long but the years are short. It is bittersweet seeing your child growing as it’s so exciting to see them grow and develop into their own person, but you can literally see them slipping away from you as they become independent. I remember in the early days of N’s flat head situation where I had to hold him all day that I fantasised of the day when he wouldn’t need to be held anymore so I could have a cup of tea in peace. Now I celebrate when he comes to snuggle as these moments are more fleeting. There are some moments when N makes a face that is so adult and I picture him as a grown man. This completely freaks me out but of course what a parent wants more than anything is for their child to grow into a happy independent person so I hope that these flashes are pictures of the future.

N’s birthday was almost a month ago as I simply haven’t had a moment to scratch myself since then to write this post. So let’s do a rewind.

I organised a construction-themed birthday party in his grandparents’ garden for his birthday with his nursery school friends joining. I was cautious about Covid-implications and so an outdoor party seemed the best solution, but also because it is summer and very hot, even in the evening! His birthday was on a Friday so my husband and I took the day off work to organise things while he was at school. I won’t lie, it was hectic and a bit fraught at times, but I really loved organising his birthday and went to a lot of trouble to make it lots of fun.

We had a bouncy castle (loosely) in the shape of a digger as well as a kids party entertainer who does some magic (including producing a rabbit and a dove out of nowhere), plays music, makes balloon animals and and has a dressed up mascot (a tigger in our case). This entertainer was worth his weight in gold as he was thoroughly entertaining. While he was for the children, no one loved him more than N’s grandfather who laughed his head off and joined in at every available moment. Even N’s daddy got involved!

We had around 15 kids and their parents as well as various family members so I think there were about 40 people there. It was a great buzz and N absolutely loved it! I think he ate the sum total of 1.5 chicken nuggets for the entire evening and I literally had to drag him home at 10pm as he was still running around squealing with delight. I had a lot of very kind feedback from the other parents so I felt like my efforts were worthwhile. Full confession though, I felt physically hung over for two full days afterwards! My entire body literally hurt as though I’d been out dancing for 6 hours straight (sadly, this was not the case). Who knew hosting parties was a full body experience?

Subsequent to the party, there has been another huge falling out with my husband’s family. I won’t go into it here other than to say that this has really brought me down. I actually wasn’t directly involved or present for the latest conflict but the underlying issues that surround this situation are not new and are very painful. The issues with his family also bring out my grief. It makes me so cross that my Mum (and Dad) who would so have loved to be a part of my son’s life are not here to enjoy him, meanwhile my husband’s family are here and very dysfunctional.

I have felt incredibly lonely and full of anxiety during this period. It has gotten quite bad actually and is beginning to manifest itself physically again. I’m aware of it so I am trying to take some actions to look after myself, but the past few days I went down a bit of a black hole and have struggled to function properly. Of course on top of all of this we are coming to the end of our house build situation which is definitely one of the most stressful things anyone can ever be a part of. We have had a billion issues one after each other and my poor husband has been trying to overcome these, but he too is getting psychologically drained and sometimes misdirects his anger and frustration at me which just compounds my anxiety. He is doing his best to improve in this regard too, plus I recognise that this is a short term situation that should improve in the next few weeks (it might get worse before it gets better though). The good news is that the house looks really great now! The pool now has water and so even though we can’t live in the house yet I have taken a cheeky dip in the new pool.

More importantly, N is a superstar through all of this. He’s definitely been a handful lately, but I wonder how much of that is reacting to the general vibe of home which is probably not textbook perfect right now! He is funny as hell, albeit also too clever for his own good. He has been excited by church bells ringing for some time as we live near a church and often hear them, but recently this interest has increased and so he literally asks to go see church bells about 3 times an hour every day. Often we have to go on drives to find churches with bells and I think sometime soon I’m going to have to find someone at a church to let him go up the bell tower to check them out for himself.

He is totally a water baby and lacks fear. He wears arm bands when he is in deep water, but now likes me to take them off for a time so that he can “go under” the water. He really delights in spending a couple of seconds under the water, obviously under the constant care of either me or his dad. He’s not yet able to actually swim but shows a lot of great potential. When our pool is properly operational we will look to start some swimming lessons for him. Not only do I think he will be a competent swimmer with a big of guidance but it’s so important for safety reasons that he can at least save himself if he falls into deep water. I think we will put a fence on our pool as I don’t think I’ll sleep well at night otherwise, but it’s still such a valuable skill to be able to handle yourself in water.

He is also obsessed with the song Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. I used to like that song haha! He plays it a billion times a day and has a little dance routine to it too so now I barely even hear the song. It’s like white noise to me. He has always loved cars – as does his daddy – but now he insists he sits in the front seat and “drives” the car every time we go anywhere. This is all well and good unless you actually need to go somewhere quickly. I guess this is why you see so many mummy blogs talking about drinking a lot! I often wonder how on earth parents of multiple children actually manage to go anywhere without having a mental breakdown.

N’s language is improving and he learns new words every day, but he is still quite difficult to understand, especially by non-family members, so he we will continue with the speech therapist for the foreseeable future. I can see he has so much to say but those words are not yet coming out nicely. His passive vocabulary seems very wide but the poor guy struggles with his active vocabulary. It’s interesting as he is so physically capable and yet his weak spot is his language. I guess we all just grow and develop in different areas at different rates. I can see he has a lot of empathy and capacity to learn so we are delighted by the little ray of light that he is and once we get him on the road to good speech development I think we will all feel a lot better about it.

Parenting is always staying nimble

June 24, 2020 ~ A ~ Leave a comment

The thing about having children is that they keep changing and evolving, forever keeping parents on their toes. I sometimes wonder if the origin of the phrase having children keeps you young is because parents and caregivers are always remaining agile and alert to whatever new thing pops up with their children. I have myriad examples of this, the latest being that even though N has been fully toilet-trained both during the day and night for some time and totally fine with it, he has started weeing the bed at night. This is not a huge deal as I have been using a mattress protector sheet and so the clean-up job is not stressful. What puzzles me is why has he now started doing this having spent weeks not doing so. Children are a mystery!

What is even stranger is that he doesn’t even wake up when he pees all over himself. He loves his sleep so much that he just keeps on sleeping. I let him be for a few days but after 5+ consecutive days of peeing in his sleep I had to go out yesterday and buy more nappies, having given away my stocks thinking I was done with them (haha, what an idiot I am!). And who wants to guess what happened last night when I put a nappy back on him? Of course he made no wees inside it – a completely dry nappy greeted me in the morning. Honestly, kids are hilarious.

I spoke to a friend of mine who has two boys, one of which is a couple of years older than N and she said her son also had a similar experience. She just put the nappies back on at night until her son was ready to go the whole night without getting wet. I will see how N goes for a few days and if he continues with the dry nappies I will try pants again.

The wetting the bed situation has arisen in the same period as his return to school so I believe somehow they are connected, albeit I am not entirely sure how. He is very happy going to school now so I am no longer concerned about that. Perhaps all the change and adjustments of the past few months have just resulted in him being unsettled so I am giving him lots of love, patience and time so as he can work through all of this calmly.

He is incredibly clingy these days which is both lovely and sad in equal measures. He clings to me when I want to go to the gym and says “Mummy stay home” and every single time it breaks me a little. He’s not an especially cuddly child – the irony of not being cuddly despite being the most cuddled baby in history when I had to hold him non-stop for the first months of his life due to his wonky neck is not lost on me – so when I do get voluntary cuddles I soak them up. At the same time I feel sad for him that he must feel some kind of need that’s arisen with the return to school. And this is even with me working part time! Imagine how sad he would be if I didn’t see him between the hours of 9am and 6pm?!

At night when he goes to bed he now likes me to stay with him for a few minutes and rub his back until he falls asleep. I am torn between being melted by this sweet moment (and aware at some point he will reject this) and concerned that he now needs me in order to go to sleep himself. For now I am just letting it be as he seems like he needs some extra support and love. Maybe I do too, actually.

His speech is coming along nicely and I can’t really attribute it to the speech therapist yet as he only did his first formal session on Monday. The previous week was just a getting to know you visit but it was perfect because this Monday N was very comfortable and happy in the space. The therapist takes him into a small playroom off the side of her office and they had 1-1 time together for 45 minutes. The most important thing is he seemed to have a good time with her; she said he sat nicely for the whole time and interacted well, albeit he did use tactics to evade verbal communication (I am sure she will work on that), and she said he is very clever. The second most important thing is that during this 45 minute session I got to have a rest on her sofa in the office area. I mean, if someone had told me 6 months ago that I could have a rest for 45 minutes while this goes on I would have signed him up from back then. I am only half joking about this.

I am especially excited that N has really started to use “thank you” in everyday conversation. The other day when I gave him his dinner he said to me “Thank you, mummy. Nice dindins.” Honestly, my heart EXPLODED as he said this so sincerely and sweetly – and then munched through his plate of food. (Obviously dindins is dinner)

Last weekend our local waterpark re-opened and so we took N along and it blew his mind. Admittedly, he is too small to enjoy 90% of the park’s attractions, but he loves the water and was in seventh heaven. His favourite things were a half bubble type thing that you climb up and then slide off into the water, as well as a kiddy section that has a giant bucket of water that tips out every few minutes. At this park there is a bell that warns you that the water is coming so he’s been non-stop talking about the “bong” ever since. I think we will have to go back there again soon as we will get no peace otherwise.

I am headlong into birthday party preparations – I’ve booked catering (the party is not at my home so it would be super difficult to cook everything myself), an entertainer and I’m planning on having a bouncy castle. There will be a construction themed cake, assorted cookies etc and decorations so I have instructed my cake lady accordingly. I need to refine my decorations ideas and get the stuff, plus work out how many drinks I need to sort out. Here it is also customary to give small gift bags to the children who come to the party and so I am thinking to theme these with beach toys – I’m thinking water balloons and water squirting toys (I’m trying to avoid gun-type toys). They all have to be put into a lovely gift bag too. I love this stuff so it’s great fun! At some point I am expecting someone to come and try and rain on my parade so I am trying to remain positive for as long as possible. Check back here in the coming weeks for the drama as it unfolds!

Approaching 3: Back to school and off to speech therapy

June 18, 2020 ~ A ~ 2 Comments

In less than a month, N will be turning 3 and I am so excited! This year I am throwing him a proper birthday party and inviting all his school friends. We have been to many birthday parties of his friends so it will be nice for N to finally have his own turn. I am beyond excited about it as my Mum used to throw me wonderful parties too so I am throwing myself into it with wild abandon. Another factor is the previous two birthdays were tough for me and I just didn’t have the energy to do something more formal, whereas now I feel more capable.

And the final reason, because N is obsessed with birthdays! He loves singing happy birthday, blowing candles out and all the party paraphernalia that comes with it. Last week was daddy’s birthday and he buzzed all day with the excitement of the cake and the candles. His head is going to explode with excitement for his own birthday. I cannot wait!

I created a birthday invitation from an editable template on Etsy. This was so super easy and inexpensive – I highly recommend it. N is obsessed with construction vehicles at the moment – cranes, diggers, dump trucks etc – so I chose a construction themed design. I have had lots of really positive feedback about it which is so nice.

Another recent development has been the return to nursery school – hallelujah! Finally nursery schools and kindergartens were allowed to reopen with a monster list of strange and somewhat ludicrous requirements. For example, I am required to send N’s lunch to school in disposable containers and they can’t put the food in the fridge so I had to send it in a cool bag which is obviously reusable. Parents are not allowed in the school and at drop off there is a big process that involves disinfecting hands, spraying the soles of the kid’s shoes and taking his temperature. I find these measures a bit ridiculous as his bag and clothes and the kid themselves may well transmit the germs but we do these things anyway.

The return to school was not without drama though. The first few days were like starting over. There was howling and crying, some begging to stay home and lots of “NO SCHOOL, MUMMY!” On day one I arrived at work a complete mess. Over the next few days things got better and now N happily goes to school in the mornings, even carrying his own bag. It is a big transition from staying at home and doing whatever you like to the structure of school, but I think N is better for the interaction with his classmates.

To coincide with the return to school, N has suddenly become super clingy to me and now requires me to stay in his room to fall asleep. I am not terribly happy about this new development as I worked so hard to make sure he was able to fall asleep independently, but he seems to be going through a really huge transition right now and thus I am riding this one out. My plan is to slowly ease off the role I play in bedtime so that I can once again kiss him goodnight and just walk out.

And another wonderful coincidence in this period is that N has suddenly developed a stutter. His language development has been slow all along and we have been toying with the idea of taking him to a speech therapist, but the sudden onset of a stutter was the final motivation I needed to make it happen. Last Monday we met with a specialist recommended to me by a friend and I really liked this lady. She had an air about her that made me feel like I made the right decision to come. She pointed out a few things that N can work on, such as his active vocabulary and his pronunciation as well as indicated he talks out of the side of his mouth. I don’t yet know what that’s all about but I will probably need to schedule a dentist appointment for N to rule out anything teeth-wise. Of course, the first question she asked me is whether he uses a dummy/pacifier but I have managed to wean that use down to only at night when he’s sleeping. Following the meeting with the speech therapist on Monday, N has started parroting new words and phrases like never before which is kind of an ironic twist. How I see it is that this will be a little boost to help him on his way. A short-term kind of thing until he gets confidence and is able to keep up with his peers.

One of my friends made a good point that if he cannot communicate effectively that he might struggle on a social level, which I find highly relatable. He doesn’t seem to struggle too much on a social level now, but I think he might going forward if he doesn’t reach the same level of language as his peers.

Summer has kicked in properly over this way so we have started to go to the beach. N has always loved the beach and water generally and he radiates joy during summer. He is fearless in the sea and even if the water splashes over his head and goes up his nose he just laughs and carries on. Given he is now obsessed with construction he also loves all the digging at the beach. Good times ahead.

Our house build is slowly, painfully coming closer to finishing. Honestly, no one ever build a house. It is so incredibly frustrating. But, when it is finally done (please be done this summer) we will have a really nice place and a swimming pool. Sadly it won’t be ready in time for N’s birthday so we are hosting it at his grandparents’ house instead. Those of you that remember his birthday last year will recall how they bailed out of his birthday on the day and so at least this year there is no way to avoid it if it’s at their house. One of my friends has suggested I made sure I drink some bubbly in the afternoon before the event so as to best deal with whichever family member inevitably makes me upset. It really made me laugh. It is also very, very good advice. Nothing like drunk hosting 20 kids plus parents to really make a great party! Wish me luck!

Potty training and looking on the bright side of life

May 30, 2020 ~ A ~ 2 Comments

One of the things that the enforced lockdown of the coronavirus has helped me with is being more grateful for what I do have, especially my health and the fact that both my husband and I have kept our jobs without being furloughed or worse. There are millions of stories all around the world of people far less fortunate and I grapple with this every day, sometimes even feeling guilty for not suffering as much as they are. I realise this is a bit daft, but it just feels like there is so much tragedy surrounding us all right now.

Amid all this chaos, life has a strange way of just keeping going on and never is this more apparent than when you have young kids in your care. I find my son excellent at grounding me and helping me to see that sometimes the most important thing you can do is jump on the trampoline with him. I highly encourage everyone to jump on the trampoline at least once a day, with or without a toddler in tow.

I also have a small confession to make. I think the lockdown has been good for me in many ways. It slowed me down. I got some more sleep as I wasn’t in such a rush in the mornings. Sometimes cake became a meal. And I just cut myself some more slack than I usually do. I follow a few blogs here and I sense a running theme throughout them (and in mine too) that we set such high expectations for ourselves when actually we really just need to strip it back and stop thinking we can be freaking superstars at every last thing in life.

Some days you will be killing it at work, some days you will manage to bake a cake with a toddler and some days everything will be a total disaster. But and if you take the attitude of a toddler, the sun will set and rise again and a new opportunity to do better presents itself. This is what lockdown has taught me. Be kinder to yourself and expect less of each day.

I absolutely freaked out at the beginning of lockdown as to how I would keep N entertained at home, but it all worked itself out and he’s very happy to play with his toys at home now. In fact, he’s probably more comfortable at home than he ever has been definitely helped by an influx of new toys during this period as well as a recognition of the simple things in life being enough.

And I would like to particularly highlight how I have seen absolutely zero, none, nadda blog posts or mummy media stories about screen time guidelines for children. A gigantichallelujah to that because sometimes you just need a few minutes of screen time to reset and get back on track. I for one rejoice in screens as one of my tools in my kit. N has not been so bad with screens. He has his own small iPad and he does like to use it but he also likes to do other activities, so it doesn’t (yet) rule his world. Sometimes he even instructs me to sit next to him on the sofa and look at my phone while he watches his iPad. He will rest his feet on me during these sessions and, if I’m honest, I find these moments sweet and intimate.

He has also developed a borderline obsession with the rubbish truck which visits our neighbourhood. When we see it coming we have to sprint outside to watch the truck tip out the rubbish into the back and say hello to the rubbish truck men. I bought N his own rubbish truck toy and it is his favourite toy by far! The rubbish truck men really love him so it’s a super fun moment. He also really into playdough and a marble run toy where you set up pipes for marbles to run through. Most of the time though he just wants to help at home, so he’s become very competent at using the cordless stick hoover and I bought him a small broom so he “cleans” with that too. He helps get food out for meals, puts away shopping in places that I don’t want it, and even tries to peel cucumbers for me, albeit we are still finessing his technique with that.

We had an insane heat wave a week ago with temperatures of around 40C (100F+) for a week and during this time I took N and his cousin in his grandparents swimming pool. This was the first time N had experienced arm bands and he was so delighted! He was entirely able to bob about in the water without me doing much other than obviously monitoring his safety throughout. He is so comfortable in water and I am getting him swimming lessons ASAP that such things are allowed again.

I have also used the unexpected period at home to go through some big transitions with N. Early on we transitioned him to his big boy bed (his cot bed, reassembled into bed format) and this was absolutely a non-event. He has not been troubled by this whatsoever and sleeps wonderfully in it. And then I had a crack at potty training over the Easter break and this was unexpectedly smooth too. I had gotten myself in a bit of a funk worrying about this so the ease at which we managed to get him potty trained still surprises me.

N’s nursery headteacher had supplied us with some instructions on potty training and I found them useful, albeit I didn’t follow them prescriptively. Her guidance said on the first day of potty training to remove the nappy and not put it back on at all apart from at night for sleeping in. You are meant to take the child to the toilet/potty every 40 minutes and sit there for a few minutes in the hope that something is delivered in the toilet. This sounds very straightforward, but on day 1 N peed on the floor every single time. Each time he peed himself I took him to the toilet and sat him on there (even though he had clearly emptied himself nicely on the floor) before wiping him and putting fresh underwear on him.

By about 2pm on day 1 I had had enough of cleaning up wee on the floor and put a nappy on him. I highly advocate when you’re losing your mind to take a break to restore some zen.

On day 2 we made better progress as N started to tell me he needed a wee at the exact moment he was actually weeing. This may not sound like progress, but it was! Each time he peed himself I would again take him to the toilet to clean him up. The nappy went on again for a few hours at the end of day 2 too.

On day 3 N got it. He told me he needed a wee in sufficient time to make it to the toilet (aka 5 seconds) and he made his first wee in the actual toilet. We have a toddler toilet seat that fits on our regular toilet and he was fine with this. He absolutely rejected the potty outright. From that point onwards he has always been able to tell me he needs a wee and we have had no wee-based accidents. One of the advantages boys clearly have is the ability to wee standing up and – assisted by his 4-year-old cousin – by day 5 he was weeing standing up. This is extremely helpful when you are out and about without easy access to a loo (hello watering the trees!)

On days 1-4 we did have a bit of a poo issue, aka there was no poo. I started to get a bit worried as he usually poos once a day and I have heard horror stories of potty training and constipation, but he ended up doing a poo in his pants on both day 4 and day 5. We were at the building site of our new house on both occasions and I think he just didn’t really know what to do about the need to go so let it out. This was a bit of an admin headache and mildly traumatic for me but overall everything was fine.

And then on day 6 we had success! A big plop of a poo in the toilet and we were all so delighted, no one more than N(actually, maybe I was the most excited one)! There was a lot of congratulating him and he very much enjoyed looking at his “yucky poo” in the toilet. Since then, it has been a daily delight for him to see the “many brown” of his “yucky poo” in the toilet before flushing them away by saying “bye bye yucky poo!”. I’ve never been so happy to celebrate poo in my life!

Since then, N has even stopped weeing in his nappies at nighttime so last night we successfully went entirely nappy-free, even at night. The biggest lesson to me in all of this is how capable N is now. It’s hard to process that he is so independent and grown up now!

I also got a LOT of pushback and unsolicited comments from my husband’s family telling me he wasn’t ready for potty training so I cannot begin to describe my delight when he took to it in days. No one said a word after that!

On the practical front, our lockdown measures have been eased and there have been a couple of days recently where no new cases of Covid-19 have been diagnosed. At my work we begun to progressively return to the office from last week, and this week everyone is back to normal. There are some various measures about hygiene and keeping your distance, but it’s business as usual. The only hiccup to this has been that while schools are open now, nurseries/kindergartens/daycare remains closed. There are rumours that they may open in June, but I’m not sure yet if that will go ahead. I’ve had some help at home which has made it possible for me to continue to do my work but it’s been enormously difficult overall for working parents (usually mothers) to juggle the childcare requirements.

I can’t help but wonder how the pandemic has changed the fabric of life as we know it. I don’t have any real insights into this but I do feel that it has helped me to reset in a way that was REALLY needed. Perhaps most of life will return to how it was before, but I think I learned a few new skills during lockdown that will be useful to reflect on for other difficult moments in the future. But most of all I realised that sometimes you just need a glass of wine at the end of a very long day.

Parenting: Corona-style

April 10, 2020 ~ A ~ 2 Comments

Wow! Parenting in these lockdown times is fully wild! At first the idea of staying home – which mainly means being inside with apartment living – really freaked me out, but we are finding a way. It’s been a month now since schools, kindergartens and nurseries all shut and the biggest issue I see is trying to convince our children to return to school when they open again. Every time I ask N if he would like to go to school he replies with a resounding “no” so I am going to have my work cut out to get him to go back.

The most important thing though is trying to stay well as good health means everything. Sure, this whole situation is really frustrating, but the alternative is far worse. That’s not to say I am not envious of those folks who have the freedom to stay home and binge-watch Netflix while simultaneously doing online workout videos, baking fresh bread and cleaning out their sock drawers.

Life at our house is run on 3-minute intervals, be that playing hide and seek, jumping on the trampoline, playing pretend kitchens, squeezing fresh orange juice, playing cars, riding the scooter, eating lollipops, drawing, painting, and arts and crafts. Every day is full of action over here! I hear some people are having trouble sleeping during isolation. I do not suffer this fate. I am exhausted at the end of every single day! I will say a big thank you to iPads and Masha and the Bear as a little screen time can sometimes save the day when you have just had enough. There is a time each day where we sit on the sofa and just re-set for a while. I have not heard any “experts” dare to mention recommended amounts of screen time during this period! I wonder why!

As our regulations here restrict us to only leaving home once per day, we save our one trip outside for a walk around the neighbourhood each afternoon which is actually really lovely and not something we would have done as a family frequently in regular life. As we walk we chat and debrief the day, as well as greet all the neighbourhood dogs. It’s the highlight of my day.

In general, N is getting a lot more time with both of us, but especially his dad and the impact is clear to see. He has started asking/demanding that daddy do certain things with him that were previously things he did with me. For example, he now demands that daddy sits and has breakfast with him and if daddy tries not to, N goes and drags him to the table. This is a great result for me as I finally get to eat my breakfast in peace!

The biggest challenge is trying to get any work done which, frankly, is impossible to do with N around. We have worked out a timetable so that I can do some work in the mornings so we are doing better than others, but it’s not ideal for anyone.

In the midst of all of this though, N is a delight and a source of constant entertainment. His vocabulary has grown enormously and now he commentates on absolutely everything. He is really keen on doing everything for himself these days and so one of the most commonly used phrases is “Mummy don’t touch!” It makes me laugh every time.

He speaks full sentences, can communicate what he wants, loves to talk about colours and likes to count. He can now get to 20 in both languages, so that’s a gigantic leap for someone who four months ago was saying practically nothing. Some of the words he pronounces with a really Australian accent and others he is more English (my accent also swings because of the time I spent in the UK) and it’s so funny to hear him chat to himself and say a really Aussie-sounding “nice” (Aussies out there know what I mean!)

He’s growing again and is now in 5-year-old clothes and wears EU 28 sized shoes / size 10 UK, despite not turning 3 until July. Hopefully then the lockdown will be over so we can have a small party for him.

A couple of weeks ago we switched him to his big boy bed, expecting that there might be some troubles getting used to that, but actually he has been wonderful. He accepted his big boy bed immediately and once he’s in it and sleepy he doesn’t (yet) get out of it in the middle of the night and roam around. Long may that continue! This boy likes his sleep (like his daddy) so I expect that is the main factor. I don’t think I did any magic parenting to make him like this. Of course, if he’s not sleepy then he’s a total nightmare to keep in bed!

The next big development is that we will be attempting potty training in the next couple of weeks. I have some time off work and so I will be able to focus on helping N transition to potty life. I have been putting this off until warmer weather arrived and now it is getting more Spring-like here, and I have some ideal circumstances for it so I am going to give it a shot. I may well be writing here again in a few weeks saying it was a failure, but sometimes you just have to give something a good try and if it doesn’t work out, try again later.

Wish me luck!

(Some top class hiding going on here)

Chatterbox incoming: 2 years, 7 months

February 17, 2020 ~ A ~ Leave a comment

Well hello to all these new words! Finally, our small guy is becoming quite the chatterbox and it is wonderful! He has so much to say and has an exploding vocabulary. He now commentates his own day and likes to give me instructions too, such as informing me when the traffic light turns green, “GREEN! Go, go green!” and asking me to pretend that I’m sad, “Mummy sad” (which then requires me to cover my face with my hands and mock sob), and telling me which gate to exit from at our apartment complex carpark “No, no! Gate 1!”

We are genuinely delighted that he’s enjoying finding his words and growing his vocabulary every day. It’s been a significant trend since just after Christmas which sees new words and phrases enter in his speech every day. Which is why it came as quite a shock when a family member of my husband’s decided to inform me they are concerned with N’s speech development and implored me to seek specialist help with a speech therapist for him. The person that said this considers themselves a self-designated expert (I do not agree with this designation at all) and so no doubt their message to me was well intentioned, albeit completely not requested and not well received.

Meanwhile, the same day, another member of family approached my husband saying very similar things and it became entirely apparent that some serious levels of collusion are going on here. My husband is such a strong character that he immediately shut them down and informed them that we are monitoring N’s language development in conjunction with his teachers at nursery school and if we feel he needs it we will seek professional advice, but we do not require unsolicited advice in addition. There are many people close to me who I would be glad to hear their opinion about N’s development and for those people I will ASK them their opinion. For everyone else, I would prefer if they F off and show some respect.

I also think the “advice” would have been better received by us if it was given by someone who actually invests in spending time with N and engaging him in conversation so that they could accurately gauge his abilities. I find it so frustrating that these judgments are made by people whose first choice activity to do with him is to watch videos on their phone and yet they are the ones complaining about his speech development.

I shall conclude this rant for now, but place it a reminder to us all to stay in our own lanes!

Anyway, so much is said about the “Terrible Twos” that I approached this age group with trepidation. We are more than halfway now and – save for a few choice moments – I have found this phase to be completely hilariously funny. I really love the huge leaps in development and N’s thirst for independence. It can be a lot messier and slower to allow him to do things solo but it’s so beautiful to see him learn and take pleasure from being able to do new things.

Just this week he has decided that toast is the greatest item of food in the entire universe (he is correct), I think primarily because he likes the process of putting the bread in the toaster and cooking it. He does eat it afterwards though so it’s all good. He also really loves to drink tea because I am a keen tea drinker. The other day we had afternoon tea which consisted of tea and toast and I felt like perhaps I have converted him to be a Victorian schoolboy by accident.

We also took another visit to our local camel farm on the weekend and N confidently fed the camels their approved snacks like a champion. I am so delighted he loves animals and has a natural capacity to communicate and interact with them. There are many other animals in addition to camels at this venue and N was interacting with a llama at one stage that was making some pretty funny whiny noises. N thought it was hilarious and started making similar noises back to the llama (which the llama seemed to like) and it was then I realized he has such empathy for animals and my heart exploded a little. He is excellent with our three cats and I’m struck by how he interacts with them differently. Our youngest cat, Lucy, is the one most obsessed with me and he is always chasing her and trying to mess with her. Meanwhile, he treats the other two, slightly older and more sedate cats with a lot more respect, gently stroking them and patting their heads. I think both N and Lucy realise they are in a battle for my affections.

I’ve not yet toilet trained N but I think he could do it from now. The challenge is it’s the thick of winter right now and it’s a bit complicated with so many clothes to deal with. I think we will wait until it warms up a little in a couple of months and then we will go for it. Same with the dummy. I have reduced the use of it significantly, but he REALLY loves the dummy for going to sleep and who wants to ruin his sleep? Not me!

I have now introduced a kiddie pillow to his bed and he really seems to love it. We are also starting to think about taking the side off his cot bed but haven’t done it yet. He isn’t bothered about not being able to get out of bed and he’s always been very good at communicating his needs, so why rush him? I’m sure these things will come in good time and when he’s ready. Like his speech, FFS! I have brought him to our bed on a few occasions recently in the small hours of the night when he’s been a bit upset. He’s had a bit of a cough but also I worry he is cold as we have had a big cold snap recently. In any case he sleeps really nicely in our bed between us and there’s something really beautiful about snuggling and waking up together as a family!