Maximum deja vu

Do you believe in signs? These days I am not sure what I believe in but I am having a serious case of deja vu today. On this day, 9th November, in 2015 I had my first FET.  It resulted in my first pregnancy and my first miscarriage.

Today, 9th November, I had my third FET. How freaky is my body that I can manage to schedule my embryo transfers on precisely the same day one year later?!  I am obviously hoping with all of my heart that the result from this transfer is a whole lot more successful than one year ago!

I am usually interested in what other people do as part of their preparation for an embryo transfer, but I’m pretty sure that I do not make a good case study today. Traditionally you’re meant to be well-rested when you arrive at the clinic. Well… I got up this morning at 3.30am to watch the US election results (I’m Europe-based). I am fairly certain that having half a night’s sleep is not the textbook preparation!  That said, following the elections was part of my job, but I also really enjoyed watching the results unfold so it help me to feel excited and positive (if a bit tired).

I requested to have my transfer at 3pm (given my doctor is trying excessively to please me right now, he did not deny me this) and I carefully structured my working day so that I would be free from 1pm. This gave me plenty of time to go for my pre-transfer acupuncture session, and make it to the clinic on time.

All went pretty smoothly, although the embryologist tried AGAIN to give me two embryos to transfer. I definitely do not want twins so we declined this option for the third time.  I was annoyed though because they didn’t ask me before they defrosted my embryos, which meant they had to refreeze the spare one. I can’t help but think embryos are like chicken – once you defrost chicken once you can’t refreeze it again without risking something bad happening.

Hubby was excellent today – held my hand throughout the procedure (he doesn’t usually do that) and told me he was feeling really positive about this one.  While we were waiting for the regulated 20 minutes after the transfer we were chatting about all the names we were not giving to our magical embryo child. I was wearing a t-shirt with “Brooklyn” written across my chest and joked that if the embryo baby is a boy we will have to name it Brooklyn.  However, hubby over-ruled this as apparently Brooklyn is banned as a name (not that I like it) because of the Beckhams’ son! Haha! Then there was a large debate about other celebrities’ baby names and whether they too would be ruled out based on the same protocol.

Afterward the transfer and the much-needed wee, it was back for some more acupuncture and then home, which is where I am now. I am feeling absolutely no different whatsoever so I have no idea if it’s worked.  I am tired, but I’ve had half a night’s sleep, and run about a lot today so that would make me tired on an average day!  The next few days are going to be comparatively very quiet as we await testing day on Friday next week.

Please let this one be in it for the long run….

In search of the golden egg

Today is the day the stims start again.  Ugh. I have celebrated today by wearing a tight skirt as I am fully aware that in a few days time I will be actively avoiding anything waisted while my alien belly expands with eggs (well, all things going to plan).

I’ve got to say my feelings about this time compared to last time could not be further from each other. I am so ridiculously chilled about needles now.  I am almost blasé about the whole stims process.  At some point – I estimate about 5 days time I will not be chill anymore.  Once the hormones kick in that will probably mean a return to the somewhat unpredictable moods and emotions.  WATCH OUT HUSBAND!

My best friend and I were chatting about the IVF cycle and she said a lovely thing to me. She said she hopes there is a golden egg in there for us this time.  I liked that visual.  I am going to grow an egg that’s so super-special that it is GOLDEN.  Like winning the IVF Olympics or something.

In preparation this IVF round I have gone pretty much sober and taken out practically all caffeine.  I am officially not fun to invite to a dinner/party. I still like and can eat cake though so that’s something.  I’ve also been really committed to yoga since my latest miscarriage in May.  That’s a solid 3 months of getting bendy. I’ve also been doing some nice acupuncture and I really like my guy who does this now.  He’s super supportive and always looking for new treatments that will maximise my chances of baby-making.

He’s quite obsessed with my yin and yang.  I have loads too much yang and not enough yin (yin is also referred to as chi depending on what your following is).  Good ways to increase your chi is to be chilled, to do yoga and walking.  Chi destructors are things like stress, hardcore exercise (say bye to the gym and running) and getting over-tired.  I think I totally ruined my chi during the period when I lost my cat so I’ve been really focusing on getting some good chi going.  My husband thinks I’m nuts!

One of the treatments that my acupuncture guy did this week is he set me on fire! Well, sort of. He set a pile of moxa (acupuncture herb) on fire on my belly which has a warming, healing purpose to it. Looks cool, right? Yes that is smoke coming out of the top like a kind of stomach volcano!

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Please excuse my lack of manicure (since resolved) and instead focus on my currently flat stomach, which in a few days time is going to be anything but.  Am I a believer in acupuncture.  I don’t know, but it’s certainly not hurting me and I’d try practically anything right now.  Because my acupuncture guy also teaches my yoga class it also means that should I ever be lucky enough to get pregnant he can guide me through the yoga classes and tell me what to do and what not to do. This makes me happy.

This week I’ve been really happy.  Happy at work.  Happy at home (little Lucy kitten is such a good mood generator). Just happy.  Such an unfamiliar feeling!

So here we go with the IVF round.  Feeling good right now.  Feeling strong.  Feeling like the golden egg is in there somewhere.  Let’s do this!