The beginning of a never-ending love story

The inevitable has happened.

Baby N has discovered his willy.

Ugh.

I knew it would happen one day because he is a boy after all, but I didn’t expect it to come so soon.  It is kind of funny though.  It was Sunday I noticed it for the first time, that when I took his nappy off his hand went straight for the willy.  And once he’d found it the first time… well… you know his hand is going to live down there semi-permanently for the rest of his life.

Of course his dad is DELIGHTED!  He didn’t believe me at first so I got him to come and watch as I changed his nappy.  Sure enough as I was undressing him he was already trying to get to it, even with the nappy on. Now it’s hand down there all the time during nappy changes and in the bath and any other free willy moment. He used to play with his ears a lot, flicking them, but now he does that less now that he’s found The Willy.

It is funny and natural and all of that, but it’s also a sharp reminder that I have produced a future man who is going to do all the gross things that men do.  It is also yet another reminder that my baby is not quite as babyish as he once was.  Time moves fast!

Other than willy discovery this week has been pretty uneventful.  Baby N has been a little better at sleeping, giving me three consecutive really great nights and then deciding to have a party last night from 1.30am until almost 3am just so I don’t get too relaxed and confident.  At least he is very happy and cheerful during our early morning parties.  I think they’d be a whole lot worse if he was crying.

Work has continued to be overall okay.  I can so far manage the part time work with the motherhood demands but let’s see how that continues.  I might have a two-night European business trip coming up in March or April which will be awesome but I’m also sure that by two days before I’ll be hysterical with panic about leaving the baby.

I did have a fight with the head of IT who decided in my absence on maternity leave to change all of my phone numbers – direct line, mobile etc. I’d had the old numbers for more than five years so that has been a bit of an issue for me, albeit the IT guy thought it wouldn’t be.  He was SUPER rude to me over email (haha, evidence!) so I raised it with the CEO and the IT guy got a severe telling off.  My husband joked to me not to burn ALL my bridges in my first week and to save some for next week.

Baby N has been totally fine with his new daily visits to the grandparents’ house and hanging with his new buddy there.  I think he actually has a wonderful time as he is doted on there then I pick him up feeling all guilty for going to work so I lavish attention on him until daddy comes home and does the same thing.  This kid is DEFINITELY winning at life.

Daddy even took him for a vaccination today as mummy was at work.  This was the first time daddy has stepped up to the plate for this so I was a bit on edge but they all did great.  Baby N now comes in at a whopping 73.5cm tall and 9.98kg weight.  This puts him at the very top of the chart for both height and weight.  I asked my paediatrician if he’s overweight but she says he is “Just a lovely big boy”.  I guess because he’s so tall the weight is not an issue.  If he was shorter in stature and the same weight it might be more of a problem.

Likewise, my fitness regime has taken a huge dive this week but I’ve had a chat to myself about just focusing on getting in the new flow of things before I get too caught up in this aspect of life.  Slowly, slowly I will find a rhythm I’m sure. And I’ve found colleagues have very kindly made various comments to the affect of me having lost my baby weight which is nice.  I mean I still have 3kg to go but at least it looks like I’ve slimmed down.  I’m all for smoke and mirrors and carefully chosen fashion! This is definitely not going to be my fittest period of my life but I remain keen to keep some modicum of fitness alive so that when I do have more space in my world to once again exercise frequently that I will have maintained a good basis for this.

In the meantime, we are doing great at Aqua Babies and I’m so delighted I started baby N with this early.  Last week he even did a free swim with his head under the water and he was totally fine with it.  It’s amazing how natural babies are in water!

Advertisements

And just like that it was over

Maternity leave is officially over for me as I had my first day back at work today.  Well I say day, but I’m now working part-time so it was a little more than half a day actually. I have had so many mixed feelings about my return to work and the worst day was actually yesterday as I realised it was the last day I would have my little boy all to myself. I started getting the dread in my stomach and wondering if going back to work – even part-time – was somehow bad for the baby. I started wondering if I would make it to work on time after dropping the baby off and would I turn up at work looking like a mess?  Well none of that bad stuff happened, at least today.  I’m sure it will on many times in the future, but today I got myself together and got baby N dropped off on time so that’s a good start.

The nights are long, but the years are short. This is a popular saying that a friend told me earlier on when the nights felt ENDLESS.  I now know what she means. I feel fortunate to have had these 6+ months with my small guy, but I also know that in plenty of other countries maternity leave is much longer and I will confess I feel very envious of this.

Where I live the maternity leave is four months and so I took a combination of annual leave and unpaid leave to top me up to a total of seven months off work.  And you know what, it was the best decision I’ve made.  Obviously I would be happy to have had 12 months or more with him, but given my situation it was a treat to have that extra time with him.  At four months I was definitely NOT ready to go back to work and neither was he ready to be apart from me.

I’ve been working on getting him ready for the change for the past two months by taking him to his grandparents place where he is looked after by someone who is kind of his nanny.  Apart from this giving me some much appreciated time to myself to go to the gym, have my hair done or do the grocery shopping child-free, it actually made today a whole lot easier.  Rather than it being A Thing to drop the baby off, it was totally normal for him which meant I felt more relaxed too.  I know when I leave him that he’s happy and being well cared for and that is very, very important!!

So off I went to work today and not knowing if I was going to have a good time or not.  But I DID have a good time and it WAS good to be back with my colleagues.  It certainly helps that I work with really nice people who value my contribution at work, but also I like my job.  I think if I was missing any of those elements then today would have been so depressing and awful! My colleagues also gave me a little gift of some beautiful teas, some biscuits and a calendar with cats.  I felt really special.

I was somewhat irritated that my colleague stole my desk chair (it was new) and thought I wouldn’t notice.  OF COURSE I NOTICED!  Let’s just say that it is now back in my possession…

At the end of my (short) working day it was such a thrill to leave the office and go and collect baby N.  When I saw him he had just woken up from a nice long nap and he had the biggest smile ever for me which was beautiful.

If I could have more time at home with him would I?  Yes, absolutely.  But given my options I think today, my first day back at work was about as perfect as you could hope for.

Now to just get baby N to sleep a bit better tonight so I can catch up on some well needed beauty sleep!!