Keeping it real

I am here to tell you that I am feeling so much better than I was when I wrote my last post.  While I refuse to make any excuses for my husband’s behaviour, we did have a calm and detailed conversation on Tuesday night about the issues that lead up to the conflict and then his behaviour in general.  I can’t say I feel 100% confident that he won’t do something similar in the future, but I am pleased I got the opportunity to express how poorly I think of him for his behaviour and how unacceptable it will be when we have a child in our house.

I did think hard about whether to be so frank in my previous post, but I decided to share what was going on as an exercise of showing my whole self.  While I love my husband and overall I think we make a great team, I think so much of what people present online and on social media in particular doesn’t reveal our full truths.  Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes we are all a bit of a bitch. Sometimes even as adults we act quite pathetically. I don’t want anyone who knows me and/or who reads this blog to think everything is perfect in my life every day.  But what is important is that we all recognise when we’re wrong and take responsibility for our mistakes.

Now that my husband and I have found a way to move forward, I have been able to sleep again.  Oh. My. Goodness.  It’s like a weight has been lifted and such a relief to be able to sleep, albeit that is pregnancy sleep which involves getting up to pee several times a night.

Baby has also seemed to calm down a lot since all the hostility ended.  During the “two-day siege” baby was very unhappy with lots of aggressive movement accompanied by painful Braxton Hicks.  Now I’ve just gone back to the regular painless BH with abdominal tightening.  They seem to come mainly at night when I’m at my most tired and when I get up too quickly… and when I say “too quickly” that means anything faster than a snail’s pace.

I am now down to 6 working days left before maternity leave and yet I am still seemingly running the show with my client.  My replacement, though much older than me, behaves a little bit like a sweet puppy and is completely deferential to me.  That’s very lovely and polite but in some ways it would be nice to see some feistiness as I’m starting to lose confidence that she’s going to be able to take charge when I’m gone.  More than once I have had a mini-panic about what state my current clients will be in when I return (will they even still be working with us by then?!!)

Today I had to lead an important meeting with a member of senior management at my client’s company.  It involved 1.5 hours driving in each direction on top of the meeting which I was really not happy about.   In any case, it was a very interesting meeting with a lot of business strategy discussed and the guy we were meeting seemed to really be listening to me.  I was a bit sad that essentially I’m going to hand all of this interesting work to my replacement who seemed to understand about 10% of what he was saying.  Ugh.

The baby shower political saga continues to rage on and – while I’d never say it to those going to the kind and generous effort to organise the baby shower – I really do wish I had stuck to my guns and just not had one.  The MIL has now gone from being all about hosting the shower, to not wanting to host it or organise it or anything, to now being a little miffed when she didn’t get a personal invitation to it from the girl who is now organising the party.   Then another girl has gotten a bit cranky because I am enforcing a no children rule.  Thankfully I am not so close to her so if she’s annoyed enough by that rule not to come I really won’t care.  But in general I’m like OMG please can everyone stop being crazy?!

Tonight I am doing some quiet things at home because I am tired from the excitement of the driving and the meeting and the craziness.  I’ve definitely dialled it down a load this week and I don’t even care.  I actually feel better for it.  So if that’s the way it’s got to be for the last 3 weeks of this pregnancy so be it.  Maybe I’ll just enjoy being a lazy one for a few weeks before the chaos properly sets in.

 

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10 thoughts on “Keeping it real

  1. I’m glad to hear everything is going better for you now. It sounded like your in laws were being a bit manipulative to your husband and getting in his ear a little bit, I’m not surprised he was a bit confused by it all! My partner doesn’t deal well with conflict and will launch and attack and then shut down… which is the opposite of me, so it makes for interesting times when we have a fight, but like you guys, it always gets resolved in the end.

    You are making me glad I didn’t have a baby shower now too! I was starting to think I should have had one because I am broke and the presents would be handy (LOL) but I can sure do without the drama and stress. I organised one for my sister-in-law last year and it was sooooo much work and stress. Honestly, it felt like organising a bloody wedding. I hope you manage to have a nice time on the day though and everyone makes you feel special. 🙂

    Yay to maternity leave in 6 days. I hope you have some nice treats planned for yourself.

    xxoo

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    1. Yes avoid the baby shower. Hahaha! No I’m sure it will be lovely but I could have done without all this drama. As for the presents, you’ll get them anyway but maybe after the baby comes.

      Maternity leave is looking like a succession of lunches. As it’s a million degrees here I think I might schedule in some beach visits too. Or maybe I’ll go crazy and clean everything. In any case I plan on many naps!! Haha!

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  2. That reminds me, I was out at a beer garden here a few weeks ago and there was a group of girls there celebrating a hen party and the totally weird thing was there was also a young baby among them! That to me seemed totally inappropriate.Baby looked only a few months if even and the mother was probably breastfeeding but surely she could have left baby with someone else for a few hours. A few of the other girls were smoking, plus obviously there would be lots of alcohol consumed at a hen party. You guys call them bachelorette parties in Australia? Anyway some events are better adult only 🙂

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    1. That is super weird!! I can imagine it might be ok if the party was at a villa or something but at a beer garden?!! They are called both hen parties and bachelorette parties in Australia. I think it’s interchangeable.
      I commented on your latest post with my name. I hope you realised it was me! I’m so incredibly excited for you!!! 👏🏼

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