Week 31 – So. Many. Tears.

This week has been tough. The back injury really took a lot out of me and made me feel really down. You don’t realize what an impact pain has on your energy and overall well-being until it eases off, which it thankfully has done now. But for approximately 72 hours after my injury I was in a haze where I couldn’t think straight for the pain and this manifested itself in me crying a lot!

I think this is genuinely the first time in my pregnancy that I was stressed out. The pain was so bad that it upset my stomach and I had a couple of days of diarrhea (sorry, TMI). I so desperately wanted to take painkillers just to take the edge off things, but it wasn’t an option. Today I am feeling much better and I’m able to stand up straight and move freely, and I’ve never felt more grateful before.

I even sent a message to my physio guy this morning thanking him for being a miracle worker. When he was treating me I was entirely skeptical that he’d done anything to help me, so gentle was he. At the time he said I’d feel better in 24-48 hours and he was absolutely right, although I think I felt worse rather than better immediately afterwards.

In any case, I am feeling much better today and being able to go about most regular activities (gently) without intense pain is a kind of treat that you don’t appreciate usually. So thank you universe and thank you physio man for making me feel human again. I will now cease from complaining about practice contractions which are like a walk in the park compared to the past few days of hell.

Weight gain: I’ve had practically no weight gain this week but I think this is because I felt sick with the pain and was not interested in eating. This means I’m still 12kg up (26 pounds) overall. No doubt I’ll play catch-up in the next few days and so I expect my next reading will be higher. I’m now only 6kg (13 pounds) off my husband’s weight and all along he has semi-seriously joked that I should not reach his weight. With about 7 weeks until the baby arrives, I am now worried this might actually be a proper risk.

Symptoms: I’ve not had any painful contractions since last Sunday, although perhaps I just haven’t noticed them with the back pain. I’ve definitely been having painless Braxton Hicks here and there but they are not causing me any great concern.

Eating: I’ve not been very hungry this week, but now I’m feeling better I think things will return to normal quickly. I need to make more of an effort to get some more veggies into me over the next few days I think as I’ve just been trying to get through this week rather than being strategic about things like diet.

Sleep: Over the past two nights I’ve noticed a new trend for the baby to kick like mad at bedtime, thus rendering it entirely impossible to sleep regardless of how tired I actually am. Put that together with the inability to get comfortable with the back pain and this week has been a terrible one for sleeping. I ended up cutting my work day short on both Wednesday and Friday so I was able to take afternoon naps, which were INCREDIBLE. I also took a short one on Thursday evening after work and I’ve had one today. In short, naps are the only way to make up from the sleep shortage in the night time. It does mean I have had to sacrifice actual useful evening activities, but I have cared not one bit this week.

Movement: He’s still a mover this one. Anyone with a cat will know that cats sometimes go all big-eyed and a bit crazy for a few minutes a day, with many of them enjoying being upside down under a bed or sofa where they run about on their back using their claws on the underside of the sofa/bed to propel themselves along. I think the baby is now doing a similar in-uterus movement where he pads his feet on the roof of the uterus. It’s very strange but funny. I can actually identify feet when he’s doing this… usually somewhere up where my lungs are meant to be.

Emotions: Oh I have been so emotional this week. I have sobbed every single day since Tuesday. It has been awful. Some other stuff happened this week too with my hubby where I have felt very upset with him. I won’t go into it here, but I think in any given week I would have been very upset with him and then you throw in my zero tolerance levels due to the back situation and… well… let’s just say it’s been tough. Thank goodness for my cats who have been almost the only things to bring me any kind of joy this week.

Missing: All I cared about this week was getting rid of the pain. Anything else was not on my radar and I couldn’t have cared less about most other things that might have bothered me in another moment to be honest.

Purchases: We paid the outstanding amounts due on the baby furniture today as it’s being delivered on Wednesday! How exciting! We also picked up some more baby socks, sheets and a few maternity nightshirts for me. The baby room has been freshly painted and has a new rug in it which also came this week. We now just have to get wallpaper on one of the walls of the baby room, but I think in a week or two the whole thing will be ready to go! That is pretty exciting!

Looking forward to: The baby furniture arriving. Then I think it will start to feel real. Also, our meeting with our pediatrician is on Monday and it will be nice to chat things through with her.

Best moment of the week: This week has been awful so this is a hard one to answer. I’d say today was good as I enjoyed going to Mothercare (baby shop) to finalise our furniture and add a few things to a gift list in case people want ideas of what to buy for the baby.

Exercise: Hahahahaha! No.

Bump update: On Thursday night, which was the day I was in the most pain, we had dinner with hubby’s family and his father’s opening line to me was (and this is a direct quote): “You are expanding in every direction imaginable!”

Firstly, WTF!! Even if I was the size of two hippopotamuses and a whale combined who in their right mind thinks this is a good/kind/acceptable way to address anyone, pregnant or not.

Secondly, I was in no emotional or physical state to withstand any such insulting comments so promptly burst into tears while sobbing “That is such a terrible thing to say , why would you say it when it’s not even true!” It’s really not true as I think I am very front-loaded with my bump. Yes, it’s getting bigger but that’s because I’M GROWING A BABY IN THERE! My butt, legs and even face have been pretty much unchanged throughout and that’s because I’ve been careful not to over-eat throughout. So yeah, that dinner occasion was a delight for me to attend.

In any case, here is the bump so feel free to let me know if I am indeed “expanding in every direction imaginable”.

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The room is a bit empty now as we await the arrival of the baby furniture!

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Front on bump
(in the background is the stroller and the Mammaroo in boxes still waiting to be built)

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A not very cooperative kitty today! 

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Week 31 – So. Many. Tears.

  1. Oh my god, that is crazy. You have a picture perfect little bump and not an ounce of fat anywhere else on you. What is wrong with people? Honestly, you have the most gorgeous pregnant figure, it’s model perfect. Don’t let his stupidity upset you.

    xxoo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not quite model perfect but thank you for such kind and supportive words. I’m clearly not a woman who enjoys being pregnant, grateful as I continue to be for the miracle of life (and the miracle of IVF). I thought I was ok with my mamma figure but this has been a bit of a week of setbacks. Onwards and upwards to next week!! xx

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  2. I echo everyone else: you look great! And it’s okay to cry. I did a bit of that this weekend. We’re meeting with our pediatrician this week, too. Any advice on questions to ask? I hope you are feeling better. You’re doing great – almost there! I hope you’ll share photos of the nursery, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Feeling much better thanks. I’ll write a post later today maybe. Nursery photos for sure but later when it looks nice!
      Regarding the Ped, I already knew a lot about my one before meeting her as she’s very well known for being in favour of the natural way of doing things – not keen on antibiotics for children unless very sick for example. She is also a breast feeding specialist which is helpful.
      We discussed things like how we wanted the birth to go, I.e. She would give the baby a quick look over before passing him to me for skin-to-skin. She will also give him a vitamin K shot as this helps to prevent a bleed on the brain (optional). We also agreed that should I be unable for any reason to give skin-to-skin then my hubby will do so instead.
      Then we chatted about how often she will visit (every day for the first week including home visits when we leave the clinic) and then weekly for a while but we will go to her then.
      If you don’t know your Ped then definitely ask about his/her approach to things and find out how it’s best to contact them in an emergency and out of hours. My doctor likes text messages and calls only when it’s very urgent. Hope that helps!!

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