Unwelcome bump comments – help!

Now that I have a little baby bump showing some prominence I have been starting to feel really self conscious of my changing shape. I know I photograph my growing bump and post it here but this is kind of a safe space. Here I am relatively anonymous. Here there is a community of blog sisters who are overall understanding and kind. But in the real world people are not this way. 

Take today for example. I was in the small kitchen at work speaking to one colleague (older than me, mother of two tween boys) and all of a sudden she exclaimed “You really are pregnant!” when she caught a glimpse of my bump. Well yes, no shit luv! I’m nearly 21 weeks preggo so it is understandable that it is showing now!

I glossed over her loud comment and just said yes and continued the previous topic of conversation. Then in walked the other colleague who is pregnant and due 1 week after me. Her bump is substantially larger than mine and has been all along. We are roughly the same height but she has a different body shape – more wide in her hips. Anyway, we all carry differently regardless of hips or whatever. 

But then the pair of them started going on and on about bumps and wanting to see mine and wanting to compare them. I felt under attack and embarrassed and self conscious and like I’d prefer to run away.  So I more or less did that saying “No, no, no, no!” all the while blushing a lot. Then pregnant colleague started shouting (I was not in the kitchen anymore) about what my issue was as she is huge etc. You get the picture. The whole office must have heard it!

I am wearing a slightly fitted top today and now I swear I am never wearing it to work again!!  I think my work wardrobe will be tent based from now on!

Is it just me who feels so self conscious of my changing shape? I see so many mammas to be out there online in bikinis and crop tops and flesh-revealing outfits. Bravo to them but I don’t feel like that same level of body confidence in this new shape of mine. 

I wonder and hope if at some point along this journey I start to feel more confident. If anyone has any tips about how to overcome this I would be delighted to hear it. 

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28 thoughts on “Unwelcome bump comments – help!

  1. I would start caring more about making you feel as comfortable and at peace as possible. Try to wear clothes you feel more comfortable in right now, perhaps strong colors but a little more loose over the bump. Perhaps wear some cozy long cardigans or ponchos? You can find your way to feeling comfortable, at ease and beautiful all the way through your pregnancy and after.

    Remind yourself daily that it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks or does not think, all thst matters is how you feel about yourself. And this too shall pass, you are pregnant, your baby is growing and needs a little space. But it is temporary! You will get your lovely figure back again ♡

    I have two children. My 2 1/2 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. I can relate to how yoy feel – but I did as I wrote to you in my comment and sort of made peace with my baby bump while pregnant. And it felt so good to get my beautiful figure back again afterwards. If I ever have more children, I will keep loving and soothing myself all through my pregnacy. ♡

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    1. That’s a really lovely suggestion. Thank you. You’re so right on so many levels and I will do my best to remember this next time I’m struggling. Two young kids – you must be a warrior woman!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ugh, unwanted comments. So annoying. People love to give advice, compare themselves, etc. etc. etc. I don’t mind when well-meaning mamas offer some comment (though I guess on my body would different), but I’ve had one guy at work say things like ‘break out the cocoa butter” and really inappropriate things like that. That’s just how he is. I don’t really find it offensive, but it’s annoying. My solution? Just let it roll off my back, because it’s not worth it to do otherwise. Only positive energy!

    I agree with the comment above: wear whatever makes you feel your best! You are carrying a healthy baby and your body is doing what it’s supposed to do! (Or if you need to go the vanity route – tell yourself you’re in better shape and your abs are better, so of course your bump is smaller!) 😉

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    1. That is really disgusting actually. I think I may have hit him in your position!! I am totally on board with well-meaning mamas but what is difficult to convey here is that the other girl and I have a history and she was definitely trying some kind of manipulation to make me feel bad. I guess it worked but I wanted to make it clear that I don’t want to engage in such comparisons, especially in a work setting. The funny thing is that I’m fine with showing the bump in general, it’s just a few limited people who make me feel shy. And yes I am in better shape and my bump is smaller although it seems to be growing by the second these days!!! 😊

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      1. Oh okay, I see what you mean. Yes, then if you two have a history and she’s trying to make you feel bad, then that is just plain mean. I bet she is trying to make herself feel better by saying you’re “so small” or something like that! Whatever. I hope you find a way to ignore her! Good luck!

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  3. I hate the added comments. Especially in reference to my body and god Fitbit someone touches it! People should keep opinions and advice to themselves unless asked. I hated the advice that was either useless or not pertinent to me.

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  4. Oh I feel your pain. It makes me feel so uncomfortable to have people talk about my shape/belly. It is so weird that people think they can comment on your body just because you are pregnant. I am the same as you in that I just want to wear tents and be left alone at work from now on. I can only imagine how it’s going to be as we get bigger and every colleague is going to feel the need to make a comment…

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  5. Oops. I don’t think I minded the comments though. I quite enjoyed the attention and the guessing games. I had a smaller bump compared to another pregnant colleague and we had lots of comments comparing us (apparently a girl bump is bigger than a boy bump) but I didn’t mind actually. I wore stretchy, bump clinging clothes – haha I quite liked seeing my round bump everyday. I don’t know- I thought the comments etc were harmless and just went along with it. But that’s me! 😛

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    1. Yeah I think I’m sensitive but also there is a history of comparing us and she’s always trying to assert her superiority to me. It’s tiring and I just don’t want to feed it.

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  6. And your bump will CERTAINLY get bigger and heavier in no time! You should just tell your colleague that everyone’s bump is different and be cool. Don’t let her catty attitude get to you..

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    1. I’m trying. I just walked out. That’s a pretty effective way of not engaging. 😎 Bump has gone through a huge growth spurt these past few days. It’s blowing my mind! I’ve put on almost 1kg this week by eating practically the same as always. Go figure!! But it’s all bump. My butt and legs seem the same as always at least.

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      1. Yep I think that’s a good idea too!

        Haha.. how much have you put on so far? I gained about 10kg and yet it wasn’t enough – had to binge eat the last week.

        Oh and I had swollen feet (my feet went up a size or two) in my third trimester and had to buy new shoes. Do watch out for that!

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      2. So far around 6-7kg!! I am taller than you I think so that’s my only excuse!! My feet are already a large size so basically I’m going bare foot from June 😆

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      3. Haha yes your definitely taller than me. I’m only 162cm tall. Since you’re having a c section, a big chubby baby should be okay!

        Haha well not everyone gets swollen feet I think! Try not to stand or walk too much and keep legs raised if that happens – that kind of helps!

        Have you had the diabetes test yet?

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      4. Yeah I’m a good 10cm taller! We have a scan today so I’ll find out exactly how chubby the little dude is becoming! I think I’ll get swollen feet for sure. The combo of pregnancy and 40 degree weather is sure to cause foot havoc. No diabetes test yet. I think they do that in a few weeks. I’ll probably hear about that too today.

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      5. Yay! Another scan to see baby! That’s always exciting!

        Haha I think you’ll be piling on more weight in that case! Of course it’ll all be the baby’s! I wasn’t able to gain so much cos of all the vomiting. But now he’s more than double his birth weight!

        Oh coconut water and barley water helped with my swollen feet!

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      6. I haven’t had an appointment in ages!! It will be good to see if everything is ok.
        Not MORE weight. Noooooo! Well I’ve not been vomiting at all so clearly this is why I’m going to be the size of a hippo!!
        Coconut water sounds good. I’m not sure Barley Water is a thing here.

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      7. Haha.. I think more weight is gonna be inevitable, especially in 3rd tri. The baby has to and will be growing quite rapidly then!

        It’s awesome to not vomit at all! I’m hoping and praying my next pregnancy will be nausea free. Nausea made my life really miserable. I don’t miss that at all!

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