Now that I have a little baby bump showing some prominence I have been starting to feel really self conscious of my changing shape. I know I photograph my growing bump and post it here but this is kind of a safe space. Here I am relatively anonymous. Here there is a community of blog sisters who are overall understanding and kind. But in the real world people are not this way.
Take today for example. I was in the small kitchen at work speaking to one colleague (older than me, mother of two tween boys) and all of a sudden she exclaimed “You really are pregnant!” when she caught a glimpse of my bump. Well yes, no shit luv! I’m nearly 21 weeks preggo so it is understandable that it is showing now!
I glossed over her loud comment and just said yes and continued the previous topic of conversation. Then in walked the other colleague who is pregnant and due 1 week after me. Her bump is substantially larger than mine and has been all along. We are roughly the same height but she has a different body shape – more wide in her hips. Anyway, we all carry differently regardless of hips or whatever.
But then the pair of them started going on and on about bumps and wanting to see mine and wanting to compare them. I felt under attack and embarrassed and self conscious and like I’d prefer to run away. So I more or less did that saying “No, no, no, no!” all the while blushing a lot. Then pregnant colleague started shouting (I was not in the kitchen anymore) about what my issue was as she is huge etc. You get the picture. The whole office must have heard it!
I am wearing a slightly fitted top today and now I swear I am never wearing it to work again!! I think my work wardrobe will be tent based from now on!
Is it just me who feels so self conscious of my changing shape? I see so many mammas to be out there online in bikinis and crop tops and flesh-revealing outfits. Bravo to them but I don’t feel like that same level of body confidence in this new shape of mine.
I wonder and hope if at some point along this journey I start to feel more confident. If anyone has any tips about how to overcome this I would be delighted to hear it.