A tiny bit crazy

I have undoubtedly gone a tiny bit crazy the past two days since receiving my positive blood test from the doctor. I have not had the “normal” reaction to a positive pregnancy test because I am just not confident that it’s going to stick this time.

My second test is Monday and it cannot come fast enough for me; I am even wishing away the weekend! Every few minutes I find myself searching for more symptoms to see if I am more pregnant. My theory is that if my HCG level is growing, my symptoms should increase too. I must have checked my boobs about 100 times in the past 48 hours to try and assess if they are larger and/or more tender. My decision this morning is that they are definitely larger and more sore and this thrills me.

Hubby and I agreed that we would do another POAS test this morning to see if the line had gotten darker, so I went off and bought another double pack of home pregnancy tests. I rotate which pharmacy I got to for the tests each time so that none of the pharmacy people realise I am testing so many times!  Haha! This also means I seem to get different brands of test each time which is annoying.

In any case, armed with a new pack of tests yesterday after work I decided to do a fresh test.  This was not a good idea. All the experts say to POAS first thing in the morning, but I was not waiting for that.  And the result was still a positive test but the line was so weak you almost have to squint at it to see it.  This made me panic more that my HCG level is not going up.  But of course urine tests are far from foolproof with the HCG showing up weaker in urine than blood.

I have done another test this morning though (of course, because now I’m addicted to doing them) and the line is a lot stronger than yesterday evening’s and I think the strongest line I have seen so far (still not bold though, dammit!).  See for yourself here.

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My period is due today so I guess if everything goes to plan the line should get darker from now.  Please make this one stick!

Last night we went out with some family members for dinner and I was in the awkward situation of wondering how I was going to dodge the wine-drinking issue. This is relatively easy if you don’t drink wine regularly, but as I am well-known for liking a glass of wine to suddenly decline is a bold signal that SOMETHING IS UP. And of course, my family-in-law are all Mediterranean and so they are OBSESSED with babies and cannot fathom why I have not yet produced an heir (or multiple heirs) at the ancient age of 37.

Hubby and I had an excellent plan that if any wine found its way to my glass that he would just drink it.  Great idea.  Except that he wasn’t sitting next to me at dinner.  Hmmmm.  So when the wine was ordered it didn’t make it into my glass by some wonderful twist of fate so I filled my glass with water so it was thus impossible. But no success.  Soon it was spied that there was no wine so a big hullabaloo ensured to make sure I got some wine. I first claimed I preferred white wine (the wine ordered was red) so – against my pleas – hubby’s aunty ordered me a glass of white wine that turned up in front of me and then she stared at me waiting to drink it.

SUPER AWKWARD!

Of course I did not drink it (I’m paranoid enough at the moment – I won’t even drink water out of the tap, much less alcohol FFS!) so then there were multiple eyebrows raised. Then, to top it off, the other aunty (who is the sweetest woman alive and means no one harm) then muttered something about me not having any children and that she is praying for me.  Great.

It was at that point that I thought I wanted the world to swallow me up.

So while no one said anything in particular about my non-wine drinking, for sure it was clocked.  Ugh.  Why can nothing be private?!

 

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8 thoughts on “A tiny bit crazy

  1. As another well known wine drinker I understand all too well that awkward social occasion where you don’t drink ( mine being when I’m in treatment or preparing for it). When you’re trying to keep things quiet and eyebrows are raised OR you get the awkward “are you pregnant not drinking?”…..😡. Anyway you got through the night AND that line looks to be getting darker to me! So enjoy your weekend on the beach! 😀 Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for saying that. I still have some nagging residual worry there, especially as I have no real other symptoms apart from slightly bigger boobs and I’m a little more tired than usual. Blood test tomorrow again and I’m hoping so badly that it’s going to show the numbers have gone up! 🙏🏻

      Liked by 1 person

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