The results are in!

The blood test result is a positive, which was not such a surprise after yesterday’s exciting POAS exercise.  So this means I am officially pregnant! Yay!

But strangely I’m not as euphoric as yesterday or as much as you would expect for someone who has just learned she is pregnant, and also that IVF has succeeded.

Why?

I am just so scared.

Last time when I got a positive test back I was so shocked and thrilled and all the things you’re meant to be. I cracked on through the first few weeks and didn’t even think of “the other options”, but then there was the miscarriage.

Even though the two pregnancies are TOTALLY NOT RELATED and there’s NO REASON for me to think this one is going to end the same way, I am so scared it will.

My HCG level today was at 80 which is well within the standard category, but I remember last time I was more than 100 at this point. Even though the doctor told me more than once that 80 is a good number, I still have to go back in on Monday for another test to make sure it has multiplied many times over in the intervening days.  So the waiting and the wondering doesn’t stop here!

I have to keep telling myself that if this was a normal/non-IVF pregnancy I wouldn’t even know I was pregnant by now as my period is not due for another couple of days. So I wouldn’t even have done a POAS test until later this weekend.  And if everything goes as it should then my HCG level should be much higher by then.

Hubby has been very comforting and has been telling me to stop being so nutso and just enjoy the moment. We’ve agreed that we will do another POAS test on Saturday in the hope that the line will be darker, thus signifying higher HCG levels.

I’ve done a lot of online searching this afternoon and there’s various examples showing a reading of 80 to be perfectly fine as long as the reading goes up a lot over the next few days. Somewhere I read also said that sometimes male babies show a lower reading at the start and then catch up later. I’ve no idea if that is true, but it’s an interesting theory.

So for now it’s more of the same – resting, trying not to stress (ha!) and eating well.

Please let this baby be a keeper.

 

 

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18 thoughts on “The results are in!

  1. First I want to say CONGRATS!!!! Then I wanna say, I know exactly how you feel. I am 8 weeks tomorrow and I am still so scared and in shock that our first IVF worked, that it has been so hard to get excited. I have bled this entire 4 weeks since I first POAS. CRAZY scary stuff. I will post my IVF post in blog after tomorrows appointment and you can read the details, but just know you are NOT alone. 🙂

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    1. My transfer was Tuesday last week so that makes me 9 ish days post-transfer. I had definite implantation pains on Saturday with other symptoms (tired, thirsty, acne, dry skin on my hands) from Monday. What symptoms do you have?

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      1. I had my transfer on Friday. I’ve been cramping for the past few days(sometimes like a period cramp only lighter and other times like a sharp stab-in the middle or on my right side near my hip). Today, I’ve had a headache most of the day. I’ve been so exhausted this week-more of a low energy than sleepy. Additionally, I’ve had very sore boobs, bloating and constipation although these I have had since I began progesterone. Ahh the madness!!

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  2. Congratulations!! So so so happy for you! You may think it’s easy for me to say try to relax and not to worry and enjoy this time but I’m going to say it anyway! What wonderful news, I’ll be sending you continued love and luck. Remember you have so much support on here when you are having your days when you feel nervous and scared. It’s so lovely hearing good news 💕💐 xxx

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    1. Thank you so much. It’s really kind of you to say such lovely and supportive things. Today I’m really stressed and worried. I’ve got some kind of bad feeling about this but I don’t know if it is just residual “feelings” from the Xmas miscarriage. I want this to work out so bad that I’m afraid to enjoy it. 🙏🏻💕

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      1. You’ve been through so much it’s completely understandable that you are gonna carry that fear with you. Is there anything at all you can do to distract your mind a little to help you relax? It really may help. Go on YouTube if you’re home and find yourself a meditation video lie down and just breathe. I would have told someone to get lost if they had said that to me a while back but it has helped me so much recently with feel anxious and stressed. Sending you a big hug 🙏🏻 xxx

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      2. Well I quite fancy a large glass of wine, but I understand that’s not allowed 😜. I’m at work. Now so maybe I’ll try the meditation thing later today. Now I’m starting to understand why people don’t work during this whole process!! Thank you for the big hug. I love you for being so kind. Apart from hubby no one knows about this stuff so I’m feeling very alone in all this. Xxx

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      3. Remember you are not alone…..myself and so many other ladies are here for you. It’s nearly the weekend (hopefully you don’t work weekends) and although I can’t help you with that glass of wine 😉 you and hubby should try and do something nice together. Celebrate and relax all at once. You certainly both deserve it xxx

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      4. No I don’t work weekends thankfully. We are going out for dinner tonight with some relatives so I get to play a game of mischief so they don’t notice me not drinking. But you should definitely have all of my allocation of wine! Drinking is one of the few advantages of being between cycles. xxx

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    1. That’s actually really comforting. Thank you for sharing. I’m feeling a bit more confident today and hopeful Monday’s test will be good. 🙏🏻 xxx

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