The blood test result is a positive, which was not such a surprise after yesterday’s exciting POAS exercise. So this means I am officially pregnant! Yay!
But strangely I’m not as euphoric as yesterday or as much as you would expect for someone who has just learned she is pregnant, and also that IVF has succeeded.
I am just so scared.
Last time when I got a positive test back I was so shocked and thrilled and all the things you’re meant to be. I cracked on through the first few weeks and didn’t even think of “the other options”, but then there was the miscarriage.
Even though the two pregnancies are TOTALLY NOT RELATED and there’s NO REASON for me to think this one is going to end the same way, I am so scared it will.
My HCG level today was at 80 which is well within the standard category, but I remember last time I was more than 100 at this point. Even though the doctor told me more than once that 80 is a good number, I still have to go back in on Monday for another test to make sure it has multiplied many times over in the intervening days. So the waiting and the wondering doesn’t stop here!
I have to keep telling myself that if this was a normal/non-IVF pregnancy I wouldn’t even know I was pregnant by now as my period is not due for another couple of days. So I wouldn’t even have done a POAS test until later this weekend. And if everything goes as it should then my HCG level should be much higher by then.
Hubby has been very comforting and has been telling me to stop being so nutso and just enjoy the moment. We’ve agreed that we will do another POAS test on Saturday in the hope that the line will be darker, thus signifying higher HCG levels.
I’ve done a lot of online searching this afternoon and there’s various examples showing a reading of 80 to be perfectly fine as long as the reading goes up a lot over the next few days. Somewhere I read also said that sometimes male babies show a lower reading at the start and then catch up later. I’ve no idea if that is true, but it’s an interesting theory.
So for now it’s more of the same – resting, trying not to stress (ha!) and eating well.
Please let this baby be a keeper.