It’s hard to really narrow down the worst part of the IVF process, but I’ve got to say that the period after transfer until you get results is vying for the title of the worst time. Not because you feel particularly awful – generally you feel exactly the same as normal – but because the waiting and the uncertainty is enough to drive the strongest person nuts.
I think I need to stop reading things online because everything says to reduce your stress levels, but I really don’t know how that is possible because the actual process of IVF is super-stressful before you add in external factors such as work, cranky arguments and anything else that life has to throw at you.
As this is my third IVF transfer (first was a fresh one and it failed, the second was a FET and it worked but I lost the baby at 9 weeks) in some ways I was more calm about the process as I knew what was coming, but I am for sure more stressed about the result than previous transfers.
This time round I have added acupuncture to the list of random-things-I-am-trying-just-in-case-they-work. I had two sessions yesterday; one before and one after my transfer. The one before my transfer was particularly intense. I’m new to acupuncture and a tiny bit sceptical but this is the first time I actually had a noticeable physical reaction to a session. Afterwards I was tired and a tiny bit dizzy. I didn’t have much time between the acupuncture and the transfer so I didn’t have a huge rest (which might have been nice) but I did have some kind of confidence that it had done something good.
The actual date at the clinic for the transfer was a little more exciting than I would have hoped. As I waited to be called through by the nurse, an elderly gentleman sitting next to me (who seemed to be visiting a patient) passed out in the chair next to me, spitting out his false teeth in the process, which landed at my feet. On the list of things that I thought might happen at the clinic, this did not appear!
In any case, he was attended to by the nurses and stretchered off for care with a doctor somewhere else and he seemed to be doing better before he left. On the other hand, my heart rate had zoomed up and I was having to give myself a nice talking to.
The transfer was pretty unexciting, apart from the part when they shine a huge spotlight up your lady parts like its starring on Broadway, and then after a 15 minute wait it was time to leave. I know they say you can pee straight afterwards and it won’t make the embryo “fall out”, but this feels totally counter-intuitive to me so I held my wee in for another 45 minutes or so.
Then it was home to the most boring afternoon/evening ever. I mainly lied about on the sofa, spent too long on social media, ate some pineapple (apparently it helps with implantation) and felt generally miserable. I then felt guilty for feeling miserable and wondered if this was negatively affecting the embryo. Then I had a quite large argument with hubby that had my heart rate up and tears streaming down my face. So if this transfer works I am officially discounting stress as a contributing factor!
I also made dinner and pottered about the place tidying things up – all things I hadn’t planned on doing, but life is not a textbook and sometimes we just have to do the best we can in the circumstances.
I did have some cramps yesterday after the transfer which I don’t remember having in previous transfers. In the interests of positive thinking I’ve decided they are good news cramps, rather than mean-nothing-symptoms (practically all symptoms could mean nothing or something so it is a fast road to crazy-town if you start buying into this stuff as fact).
Today I am bored already and it’s only Midday. Already today I have done some laundry, cleaned the kitchen up a bit, done some “restorative yoga” (while looking at Twitter and googling IVF post-transfer symptoms, so not sure how truly restorative it was), eaten some Brazil nuts (they have selenium which is allegedly good for implantation) and drunk some rooibos tea (organic and caffeine free – tastes good actually!) . I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day!